Who
will be at your birth?
It can be difficult to decide who if anyone
to invite to your birth. The following are some thoughts to help you in making that decision.
-The birthing
Mother's needs must come first.
-Some people may be requesting to come to the birth or even worse, assuming that they
are coming. Remember that this is your sacred event and you are in control. You have the power and courage to talk with these
people so that your needs are met.
-Birth is not the time to mend old relationships, heal old wounds, or do favors.
Tension during birth can slow or halt labor. Contractions are unlikely to be effective if Mom is under stress.
-The
Mother should feel she has emotional space and safety wherever she gives birth. Anyone invited to be present must be prepared
to follow the wishes of the Mother.
-Those invited need to understand that the final decision of who will be present
may change at any time at the discretion of the birthing parent(s). At the last minute, guests can be asked not to come, or
to leave and those invited must be prepared for this and not take it personally.
-People who are present should come
with positive energy and feelings about birth.
-It is best to restrict birth guests or those that have emotional baggage
with the birthing couple.
-Generally it is not advisable to have a large number of people present at the birth. Birth
is an extremely intimate and private experience.
-Many Mothers and birth partners don't want anyone at their birth.
They want the freedom and privacy to share this intimate experience without observers or family.
-If there are people
you want to involve but are hesitant to invite to the birth you can ask them to come over shortly after the birth to bring
food or help with household tasks.
-Any one who has been abusive to the laboring Mother or had a rocky relationship
with the birthing Mother and birth partner should not be present at the birth, unless a great deal of time, healing and effort
has been made between all people to heal wounds. Women feel most vulnerable during labor, and they must feel safe and protected
for labor to progress steadily.
